Stolen Life

It has been a while since i last made an entry here in this diary log since I had encountered an incident that has almost left me feeling completely devastated. My best friend ACE (my acer laptop) was stolen from me, my bag with important personal documents were included as well. I was left feeling violated as this incident happened in my own home. I was both furious and depressed at the same time. Many have been telling me that I should be grateful that at least I have my life as many arent so lucky. But somehow it doesn't ease the emotion.

Right now am working on getting things replaced and my life back on track. Am grateful though that I have wonderful friends that are helping me out to get me started. Now I have a new friend that am getting to know bit by bit Hannah my new lappy (HP Mini 2140) has been proving to be a very versatile and talented little wonder. I have to admit am very pleased with her performance so far. I pray that me and Hannah will be together for a long time. Most especially when she came at a time when I needed her the most.

Am a bit worried to be honest about a lot of things lately since the inident. Mostly financial reasons, more specifically on how to pay for the things that I need to be replaced. Hannah herself isnt fully paid for yet and am going to try to pay my friend at least 5K Pesos a month to get the det over with. But considering the number of bills I get already that is quite a stretch. I have been trying to figure things out and praying that all goes well in the end.

Saddest Day of 2009 so far

Today I feel like I needed to write this. I feel like I need to let this pain out. I am sick literally and yet the person that I counted on to be here for me isnt. I feel so lost and unloved and that isn't just the half of the pain that I feel. Easter Sunday wasn't what I thought it would be. It only gave me a lot of pain. I really don't have anyone to turn to. I feel so alone and I dont know what to do to make me feel better. I feel like I have lost focus of what I was supposed to do. I am questioning myself and my motives today. Am I living in denial, am I living a lie. Am I the reason why I am always alone? I dont know. I honestly dont know. I pray hard that things will work out but by the way things look Nothing seems to work for me. I question myself daily now, I am intelligent and strong willed but at this I feel that I am powerless against it. I am scared, very scared of what I am to find out from all this. The truth is painful, and emotional pain is harder to heal from than that which is physical.

Lonely

Born of light yet raised in the Dark
Living a life but feeling like death
A rose but with petals black

Righteous and yet filled with sin
Armored however more vulnerable within
Laughing due to immense pain

Home although feeling lost
All together but not complete
Loved unfortunately by loneliness

Time to rest even for just a moment

Holy week has finally come and I feel the vacation fever again. It is only during this time where I can actually get some decent rest and sleep. I get to catch up on a lot of things that I have been missing out on and people that I haven't spoken to in quite a bit. I can even finally find the time to get to job and roller blade across the streets of Makati without having to worry about traffic cause this city is going to look deserted once everyone has finally gone off to their out of town excursions. There is a lot of things that I cant wait to get to do. But like I mentioned first thing to do is to really get a decent amount of sleep. :) xoxo